Adoption is a part of our lives, always. You really only have to look at our family to see that — Caucasian mom and dad, Asian son. Even with those physical differences, I’ve had people over the years ask me if we were going to tell Energy Boy if he was adopted. “Yes, of course,” I’d say. For even if he looked very much like us, it’s a fact of his life that isn’t something that’s shameful and that he deserves to know. It’s part of what makes him him.
It’s a part of our lives, but it doesn’t take center stage all the time, as I think is appropriate.
ALL ADOPTION, ALL THE TIME
would be wearing on any family, I would think. Let’s talk about adoption . . . again. Let’s draw about adoption . . . . again. Let’s go someplace and somehow link it to adoption . . . even if that’s a stretch.
See what I mean?
For our family, I think of it as white noise. It’s there, always in the background, but only coming to the foreground at certain times. Especially since I got my cancer diagnosis and have gone through various treatments and now am going through breast reconstruction surgery, cancer is what (unfortunately) becomes front and center again. Even though this is what we hope is towards the end of the cancer business in our house, cancer is going to be another white noise of our lives, because being someone with metastatic cancer . . . well, it’s something that will always have to be watched, at any rate.
I so want to be like “normal” families, if there is such a thing. I want to take EB to basketball or other sports practices. I don’t want to be too tired from treatments or recovering from surgeries to do things with him. I hate that he even knows what breast cancer is, that he knows the word chemotherapy, that he’s being put through Mom being out of commission yet again so I can feel normal.
People tell me that he’s resilient . . . and he is. People tell me that it will make him more compassionate . . . and it very well might. But it’s also making him grow up some before his time . . . and while I couldn’t have predicted this and never wanted this, this is what life has thrown at us.
You would think the white noise of adoption would be enough for one child.
Well, clearly you were Supposed to be his mom. So, whether it’s good or bad or both, he is Supposed to be going thru this. He is obviously meant to be a special, spectacular kid.
Good insight and a resource in the adoption community for those experiencing some of the same things. Thank you! Maria
With all the bumps and detours in EBs life he is also blessed with an incredibly insightful and loving mother.
Remember Who loves ya, baby.