OK, maybe resent is too strong a word. But Angie the wig and I have an uneasy relationship at best. And yes, I do realize I’m talking about an inanimate object like she’s a person. I get that.
Now, before I go on, I need to make some disclaimers. There may be minor rants here, and I have to say right here and now that these are not directed at any one person or even a few people. They’re simply not. Believe me, I’ve faced these things In Real Life as well as online. I also realize that people can’t read Cancer Girl’s mind. So there’s no animosity here, just some general rants with no animosity behind them, no matter how it may sound. Just some things to get off of my chest, while I have one — Ohhhhhhhhh, I slay me!!! BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Angie. Oh, Angie, Angie, Angie. See, at first it was kind of fun wearing Angie, almost like playing dress-up. Angie was fun. Angie was cute. Everyone liked Angie. But then the comments came. Comments about people liking Angie better than they like my Real Hair.
Oh. My. Now, think about that for a minute. That’s a back-handed compliment if I ever heard one. I happen to like My Real Hair. My Real Hair is, let’s face it, with all of its flaws, The Real Deal. It’s ME. Angie isn’t ME. Angie is not only Not Me, Angie is Fake. I mean, Angie is Fake Hair. It’s true, Angie is synthetic hair, not human hair. Well, OK, maybe now I’m just being mean to try to get you to go against Angie and maybe that’s not really fair. Honest, but not necessarily fair.
What I see when I look in the mirror when I’m wearing Angie is my face with someone else’s hair. I’ll admit that Angie is a good look, but she’s not 100% ME. I think that’s why it’s so hard for me to hear that some people prefer Angie to the Real ME. You know? I actually can’t get this hair-do with my Real Hair. My Real Hair is way too thick to accomplish this kind of hair-do. I can get the color — and probably will — once my Real Hair grows back. The color is great; I LURVE the color. But the texture and the rest of it? — not happening. There was no way I was going to get hair exactly like my Real Hair when I walked into that wig shop. My Real Hair is dry (just bordering on coarse), extremely thick, and somewhat wavy. Trust me, they just don’t make wigs with hair like my Real Hair. So Angie was the closest I was going to come, and besides Angie looked good with my face.
But it’s not My Hair so I do feel a bit fake with Angie on my head. I have to admit, once I became comfortable wearing hats and scarves out in public, I started preferring wearing them over wearing Angie, probably because I feel more like myself in them than I do wearing Angie. More honest, maybe. More ME. I feel like sometimes I wear Angie more for other peoples’ comfort than for my own comfort. Speaking of comfort, the hats and scarves are more comfortable physically than Angie is. She’s OK up to a point, but by the end of the day, I want nothing more than to take her OFF of my head.
Yep, not feelin’ the love as much anymore. My mother raves about Angie, and I kind of offer up an “uhhh.” Other people will say how wonderful I look and I smile and say “Thank you,” all the while swearing that the next time they see me, I’ll be wearing one of my funky hats which many of them never seem to comment on (The NERVE!!! HAR-UMPH!!!).
I have to say, I think the hats and scarves unsettle some people. *shrug*, not that I let that bother me too much. It’s more like I wear my cancer on my . . . well HEAD (not sleeve) and announce my Cancer Girl status to the world when I wear them. More so with the hats, actually since I think some women wear bandanas around. Or not. Maybe I’m just talking out of my butt here.
Last Friday I was wearing a beautiful scarf (yes, pre-tied because they still look like a 4-year-old tied them when I try, but I’m practicing) and a co-worker asked me if I’m going to get a Harley to go with it. Wow, what a knee-slapper that was (that’s extreme sarcasm there, in case you didn’t know). Oh, Those-Who-Are-Not-Funny-And-Keep-Trying-To-Act-Like-They-Are:
Stop It
thankseversomuch
__________________
Ah yes, Angie.
When my hair grows back and the relationship with Angie is over, I suppose I’ll be a bit sad, having some mixed emotions and possibly singing:
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.
or not.
