Posted by: justenjoyhim | December 22, 2007

Dear Dad,

You know I love you, and you know I miss you. I’ve missed you very much over these almost 20 years. Well, 20 years as of next month. It’s hard to believe that it’s been that long since you’ve been gone.

I want to be with you again someday, Dad, and I know I will be. Someday. But not now. I’m not ready. I’m not done here yet.

I’m sure you can understand:

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So I’m staying put for the time being. I need to see your grandson grow up, get married, have children. I want to grow old. I want to keep being snarky. Snarkier. And then I’ll catch up with you. But not now. Not anytime soon. As much as I do miss you, I can wait, and I know you can too.

I’ve let The Big Guy know all of this, but if you would put in some words for me as well, I’m sure that would help. Geography being what it is and all, with you being so close. Thanks, Dad. I knew I could count on you.

Also, let The Big Guy know that the rest of the family is hurting right now, would you? They could use some peace about now too.

Thanks, Dad. I love you and I’ll see you in maybe about four decades. :)

Your loving daughter,
Number 4

Posted in Cancer, death, health, religion

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Responses

Oh Judy… your last post made me laugh, now this one made me cry… you do it all. And I’m running out of Kleenex.

By: Sang-Shil on December 22, 2007
at 11:25 pm

Nate needs you, your funny and sweet husband needs you and we need you too Judes.

“The winds of grace are blowing all the time, all we have to do is raise our sails……”you are my winds of grace Judes, thank you for reminding me to take the better path and that I have a choice.

By: reunionwritings on December 23, 2007
at 2:50 am

Judy, I just can’t stop looking at those beautiful smiles.

By: Abebech on December 23, 2007
at 7:43 am

I only ‘know’ you through your blog but I am 100% certain that you are an amazing woman. What a beautiful photo!

By: beagle on December 23, 2007
at 3:32 pm

It is Xmas Eve here, and time for me to wish all of my blog friends a wonderful time with family and friends tomorrow. May it be a peaceful and blessed day where we can give a lot of joy to those around us. Have a great day.

By: VegeYum on December 23, 2007
at 9:30 pm

I will be keeping you in prayer. Heck,I better go back and find your name. Guess God knows who you are and thats what counts. What a beautiful son you have. I will come back and read on. Until then, try to have a Merry Christmas with your son. I cannot know how you feel but I care.

By: debi on December 24, 2007
at 2:15 am

I just found your site. I’m not even sure how. Looking for the cutline theme, I think, because of a comment Loren Feldman made in an old interview with David Krug. All of which has nothing to do with you–and, frankly, nearly nothing to do with me–and is just my way of saying *random*.

On the other hand, I’ve done the breast cancer thing, so I’m really writing to say *relevant*.

I’m here for you. Seriously. Along with your diagnosis, you should have heard the “there are a lot of options, so you have a lot of thinking to do and some important decisions to make” speech. (If you didn’t, we need to talk *now*. Your doctor may be pushing you toward the solution s/he favors. Mine did, and she turned out to be wrong.)

I’ve done a bunch of peer counseling, especially around surgery and reconstructive surgery. E-mail me at allthebestpeopledo@gmail.com. I’ll answer any questions I can, and I’ll give you my phone number, which you are welcome to use at any time of the day or night.

Why “allthebestpeopledo”?

When I was going through treatment for breast cancer, I was amazed by the number of people who came out of the woodwork to say that they or one of their loved ones had also had breast cancer. I didn’t feel comfortable saying, “Oh, I’m so sorry,” in a concerned tone of voice, the way everybody does. I was fine, or at least I was going to be, and it just sounded too depressing. Instead, when somebody said, “I/my mom/my friend has/had breast cancer.” I always smiled a little conspiratorially and said, “All the best people do!”

You’re a member of the club, kid. And you’ll find we take good care of our own. I’ll do anything I can for you.

By: four18 on December 24, 2007
at 5:17 am

Oh, Judy. This made me laugh and cry. If anyone can get through this, I know you can.

I know it.

Merry Christmas Eve, dear one. I feel a thousand percent certain we’ll be celebrating many more! :D

By: Coco on December 24, 2007
at 7:02 pm

Yup, I’m crying over here too. Nate has your beautiful smile girlfriend! And the Big Guy is right here with you. Blessings this Christmas, all of you!

Kim, thanks for that quote about the winds of grace. They are always blowing, aren’t they? Here’s to big sails.

By: cloudscome on December 25, 2007
at 7:01 am

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