They’re all around, aren’t they? Not just stereotypes based on someone’s race, color, religious affiliation, or sexual orientation either. But stereotypes based on what kind of parent you are.
People in Bloggerville are discussing the stereotypes that exist. Some have been in situations where they’ve faced their own stereotypes and found that the real-life situation doesn’t match the pre-existing stereotype in their mind.
Others are faced with stereotypes from others, stereotypes that jump out of nowhere and can drag a person down, understandably, because it is hard to be reduced to a stereotype.
Any stereotype, most things that label someone as X, Y, or Z just because you fall into some category when you yourself are nothing like X, Y, or Z tend to de-humanize you, make you feel “less than.” At least that’s how they make me feel. I want to yell, “But I’m nothing like that, and neither are [and then go on to list names of others I know who aren't like that].” I want to defend the people in my “group” who defy the stereotype.
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For some reason, it seems to be acceptable to group people like this in Adoption Land. Where people would be appalled to hear the same sort of generalizations made about African Americans, Latinos, Native Americans, and Gays or Lesbians, it may be perfectly fine to make sweeping generalizations about adoptive parents, first parents, or adoptees. I don’t get that.
Yes, I am writing this. Yes, the Snarky Librarian has a bit of Pollyanna, a smidgen of “Can’t we all just get along?” in her. YES!!
And you know why? Because, for one thing, I genuinely LIKE people in all aspects of Adoption Land, and I find very strong individuals in every part of Adoption Land, not cardboard cut-outs where I can just assign characteristics before I even meet them.
But the very most important reason: the children. And the grown up adoptees. Adoption reform. I simply don’t see it moving forward very much without us all working together and it’s going to be damn hard to work together if these stereotypes keep getting in the way.
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So yeah, scratch the Snarky surface, and you’ll find some idealism underneath.
Just don’t tell anyone.
Posted in Adoptees, Adoption, NaBloPoMo, adoption reform
