Yes, I’ve been going on little — alrighty, and BIG — snarks a lot lately. It’s, as Tina so cleverly put it, because I’m eating Snarky Bunches of Oats cereal. Gotta love that stuff.
And I do believe, like I said in yesterday’s post, that people use absolutes way too much. Particularly when they introduce an opinion as a fact, such as “adoption is the WORST thing that can EVER happen to ANYONE in the world.”
Right, because war, pestilence, rape, murder, starvation, homelessness, losing your entire family, torture, or a combination of the aforementioned, are nothing compared to adoption. What is often needed, I believe, are “I” statements, as some of us (or so I’ve heard, *ahem*) learn in therapy. That is to say: “I feel that that adoption is the worst thing that has happened to me,” (I’m not speaking for myself, of course) OR “I believe that adoption can be a horrible thing with lifelong scars for many adoptees and natural mothers.”
However, there are times when absolutes are needed, are called for. Let’s face it, absolutes do serve a purpose. In the world of adoption, I think we (most of us, anyways) could agree that using an absolute is perfectly fine in the following sentence:
~ Adoptions should always be legal. (meaning, of course, if an adoption has any elements that are illegal, don’t pursue it).
Along the same basic thinking, using absolutes seems to work well when one is a parent. It doesn’t seem that saying the following would carry much weight with Junior:
It’s usually not best to go with strangers, Junior.
I mean, really. What child would understand that? “Well, Mom said it’s usually not good to go with strangers, but this one looks nice, plus he offered me candy AND a ride in his cool car! I bet he’s OK!!”
NO, of course not!! I tend to opt for the more emphatic, and from what I understand, police officers and other authoritative and safety types do also. So those types of sentences really are better with absolutes thrown into them:
NEVER EVER go with a stranger, whether the stranger is walking, bike-riding, on a motor-cycle, in a cool car, on a skate-board, on a scooter, on a hovercraft, in a boat, on a jet, in a rocket ship, on hoolies, or on anything. Just NEVER EVER go with a stranger.
NEVER EVER play with guns.
DO NOT play with matches. EVER.
I ALWAYS love you. I WILL ALWAYS love you. I am ALWAYS here for you.
ALWAYS tell Mommy she’s beautiful.
So, of course, there is room for absolutes in the English language. Just not as much room as many would have you believe. And not, I believe, where people are really trying to tell you what their opinion is and passing it off as . . . well, as an ABSOLUTE fact.
I mean, really. That, I KNOW is true. ALWAYS and FOREVER. 
