writing/not writing . . .

I haven’t written here in almost a month. I write in FaceBook lately — one sentence updates, blurbs. I can do those, it seems. Once in awhile, I’ll write a “note,” which is something like a blog post.

I’ve been good, good to great even. When you pass your second “you’re in remission” check, how can life be anything but pretty darn good? Oh, it still has its challenges and difficulties, but they don’t seem worth writing about here somehow.

I recently had a vacation where I visited a good friend in Orlando, the same friend I visited right after I received my diagnosis. I miss her already. I identify her with providing me with a respite, a balm during some of my darkest days, and she still accepts me no matter what I seem to offer during any of my (and my family’s) visits. We consider each other family now; it’s a wonderful thing to me when a friend does that, as opposed to the friend who needs time away from me. I am a fairly high maintenance person, I guess; I suppose anyone with a terminal (though treatable) illness would be, but to me friendship is about being friends through thick and thin, etc. It doesn’t seem to be for everyone.

I rarely write now. I think. I don’t think. I play games like Bookworm to relax, to not think. But I’m fine. My family is complete, I’m in Remission, and I’m looking towards more reconstructive breast surgery that will ultimately get me looking as close to a “normal” woman, breast-wise, as can be. It’s bothered me, this abnormality, even though I know it was necessary and was part of what saved my life. I’ll still be glad to have two matching breasts, not have to wear a prosthesis, and get to buy regular bras, even if insurance won’t cover them!

In the meantime, I will write, or not write, as the mood strikes me. I’ll live, love, parent, work, and be myself, as authentically and honestly as I can be.

all because I forgot a date

Happy tears, all because I forgot a date.

Disbelief, all because I forgot a date.

Relief, all because I forgot a date.

Praise to God, all because I forgot a date.

Feeling B.L.E.S.S.E.D., all because I forgot a date.

Realizing how this can’t even be described with words, all because I forgot a date.
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On December 20, 2007, I received news that I had cancer. I thought I would never pass that date without feeling a twinge, a start, an immense pain . . . but it happened. This year, only two years later, the date whizzed by, and it was just today that I was scratching my head, thinking, “when exactly . . . ,” and I actually had to look in my blog to find out the exact date.

That is progress, peeps.

That, and a second determination of NO CANCER, and I have the only Christmas presents that I really want or need.

Thank you, God.
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Cross-posted to Mothers With Cancer.

countdown(s)

Two more days of work until our winter break (until Jan. 4), three more days until Christmas, seven more days until we spend a night at an indoor waterpark (and visit my mom who’s in a nursing home in the same town), and 15 more days until Absent Minded Professor, Energy Boy, and I are in FLORIDA!! Yay!!

a happy news list post

1. Great news, the BEST: I received word on Tuesday that a new-fangled blood test that measures cancer cells in the body better than previous blood tests came back with NO CANCER in my body so I am still IN COMPLETE REMISSION!! YAHOOSKI!!

2. Energy Boy is being the sweetest ever. I hope I don’t jinx that by posting this . He said to me several times last night, “you’re a good one, Mom.” Awww. He’s a good one too.

3. Things have changed in the world of Santa these days. I asked EB if he wanted to see Santa at the mall and he said, “Naah, I emailed him.” LOL!! Yes, he’s emailed him . . . . four or five times!! Each time with a different list, I’m afraid. Oh. My Word., this kid cracks me up! I do tell him that Santa can’t bring everything he wants, like:

how do you spell laptop, Mom?

LOL!!

4. We’re going to visit my mother, who is in a nursing home, after Christmas, and at the same time, we’ll stay at an indoor waterpark so that should be loads of fun. Wheeee!!!

5. I work at a university, and the semester is officially over. I have to say I like the quiet that we’re experiencing now. It’s a nice change of pace.

6. This morning’s conversation:
Me: EB, guess what’s on the ground? EB: Money?

I think that’s about it for my list. Life is good right now. Life is indeed good.

anniversary

As of today, I’ve been in remission for one year.